The return of Pea

I know. It's unbelievable. I've written a new post after nearly 2 months!
As you can see, here I am smiling at you for having patience and checking in on me now and again. This time you have been rewarded!
Not that I'm going to write anything mind-blowingly interesting but I am going to explain myself. I apologise now in case I go on a bit. Now, settle down, get a cuppa and I will tell you my story.

Since I was very young drawing and illustrating has been my passion. After university I decided I really wanted to be a children's book illustrator and put years into developing my work and promoting myself. It was a struggle at times and I had to do many (sometimes awful) part time jobs to pay my rent but I kept at it and began to get some illustration work. I was represented by an agency which was fairly rubbish and barely got me any commissions but I managed to get by with work I found myself. Friends and family suggested that I get an 'art-related' job which always annoyed me because it was like they didn't believe in me and thought I should give up on illustrating.
I found illustration forums and started my blog. Last year I left a horrible call-centre job to concentrate on illustrating full-time and my agency was taken over by a new agent. Things were looking up and there was a big increase in the amount of work I got. I was working flat out and so pleased to be doing well as an illustrator. Finally I could show friends and family and, most importantly, myself that I could do it!
Sadly this wasn't to last and no more work came. I remained positive, doing all I could to promote myself, generating new illustrations and postcards to send out to publishers. In the back of my mind I also knew I had my agent working hard too, so I was bound to get something.
But I didn't. Instead, I began to lose faith but with a very supportive boyfriend I kept going and decided to tailor my postcards to the greetings card market to get new clients. I did many designs and sent them out.
A frank email from my agent, seven months without work and lots of rejections letters left me very depressed and I had a long, hard think about my future. Illustration had been my passion but now it felt like my enemy. I couldn't bear the uncertainty any longer and slowly came to terms with having to try something else, whether permanently or temporarily. I researched many possible alternatives and began to apply for jobs- but only jobs that I viewed as interesting, art-related and with the potential to be good careers.

For those of you who are a tad bored, here's a nice photo I took of a bumble bee:

Feel refreshed? Right. So now I am awaiting the outcome of a couple of interviews, though I don't want to say more than that at this stage! (I'm always telling anyone who'll listen about my up and coming work only for it to fall through, so I'm trying to be a bit more cautious.)
I know I've not been doing my own blog but I have been reading yours. They've cheered me up and made me feel connected to creative people. The same with the forums- I've been lurking in the distance and hope to be ready to come back soon, even if I'm not an illustrator anymore. I've accepted now that I can find happiness in a different creative career, I may or may not go back to illustrating, whatever I decide is OK as long as I'm happy and well. And finally I am NOT a failure! Woo hoo!